I’m In Pain.

In the middle of the night,
Under the stars in the sky,
I squeeze my eyes to much,
Cause I miss you very much.

I’ve been having a hard time lately,
Cause your memories keep bothering me,
I admit that I love you,
And i hope you love me too.

Smiling on the outside,
But I’m suffering in pain inside,
Everyday I laugh and smile,
Cause for me it’s my way to hide.

The day when you left,
I made a promise to myself,
That I won’t write about you,
That I won’t cry about you,
But here I am holding my pictures with you.

It’s funny cause sometimes I wait for cloudy skies,
Cause my friends won’t know the rain from the tears in my eyes,
Sometimes I’ll look for the stormy weather,
To hide the pain and tears forever.

I’m tired of doing this everyday,
I wanna wear my smile in the sunny day,
Cause it won’t change that I’m just a mess,
That you don’t wanna fix.

Paano Ba Kita bibitawan.

Kaysa naman nating dalawa,
Pero hindi ko alam isang araw aabot tayo sa ganito sinta.
Na bawat mulat ng aking mga mata agad kong nakikita na wala na,
Bawat pikit ay ramdam ko parin ang lahat ng sakit.
Naalala ko pa ang lahat ng mga ala-ala,
Mula sa simula hanggang sa tuluyang nawala,
Mula sa saya na naging mga luha.

Hindi ko alam kong bakit sayo ang lahat ay kay bilis lang nawala
Na ako ngayon sayo’y biglang nabalewala.
Pero bakit ngayon hindi parin ako makawala,
Sa pagmamahal na alam kong wala akong mapapala.

Ngayon paano ba ako susuko sa taong ayaw kong pakawalan,
Paano ba ako bibitiw sa taong hindi ko kayang bitawan,
Hindi ko alam kong takot lang ba ako maiwanan,
O mas takot akong mawalan.

Hindi ko alam kong paano susuko,
Kong papaano ko sisimulan na isipin ko naman ang sarili ko,
Kong paano papatigilin ang puso ko sa pagtibok sayo,
Kasi alam kong ako mismo wala na jan sa puso mo.

Tama pa ba na may tayo
O mas nararapat na tama na.
Itutuloy ko pa ba o mas tamang ihinto ko na,
Tama pa ba na kailangan mo ako o mas nararapat na mas kailanganin ko sarili ko.

Kay dami kong tanong sa aking isipan,
Na tingin kong ikaw ang kasagutan,
Tanong na alam kong kaya ko namang sagutan,
Ngunit ayaw ko din matuldukan.

Mahal, gusto ko ng lumaya at maging masaya,
Gusto ko ng umagang walang inaalala,
Ng gabing mahimbing sa pag idlip,
Ng mag hapong walang iniisip.

Kung paano sumuko ay hindi ko malaman-laman,
Kung paano bumitaw ay hindi ko magawan ng paraan,
Gusto kitang layuan pero hindi kita maiwanan.

Siguro mahal hayaan mo nalang ako,
Hayaan mo ako sa patuloy kong pagkapit,
At hahayaan kita sa patuloy mong pagbitaw.
Hayaan mo ako sa patuloy kong pag sigaw ,
At hahayaan kita sa patuloy mong pag ayaw,
Hayaan mo ako sa aking pagkadapa,
At hahayaan kita sa iyong pagtayo,
Maghihintay lang ako sa pagbangon kong muli,
Hindi ako mag aatubili dahil hindi naman ako nagmamadali.
Dahil alam kong ang paglimot ay hindi ganun kadali.

Naniniwala ako na ang lahat ng sugat na iyong inukit,
Ay muling hihilom ay di na sasakit.
Magsisimula akong muli sa umpisa,
Kahit alam kong nasa dulo na,
At ang lahat sa akin ay nabago muna.

Magsisimula ulit ako sa mga nawasak,
Dahil mahal naniniwala akong ang pagmamahal ay hindi panandalian,
Ito ay pang matagalan,
At kung iwan man kita at magtapos tayo.
Naniniwala akong maari namang magkaroon ng kami o di naman kayo.

What Love Should.

#MyownPoem #Inspiration

We we’re happy for 2 years
and I overcame all my fears.
2 years passed I’ve been blinded because of you.
2 years passed I believed the words “I love you”.
2 years passed I cut all ties between us

because letting you go means letting myself be free,
How we ended up here?

It started when I’m at the corner standing, waiting and assuming that you’re coming.

Seeing you every day can make me happy
when every time you smile it makes me sappy.

Then after 1, 2, 3, hours of waiting finally you came

laughing, smiling, talking, hugging, and kissing with someone whose hand you’re holding.

Then you came to me and said “how are you my love?”

Wow really? How am I? Now you’re acting like nothing is happening my love.

I try to calm myself from assuming that she’s your next
but I can’t help but cry in front your curious face.

That day I realized that all the love I felt was a lie
I keep wondering, and asking why.

Why did you hurt me? Why did you do this to me? Is it because my effort was not enough? Or were you just having fun playing my heart?

One night I closed my eyes and said
if love was like how you love me, NO WAY.
if love was like a wind, that you keep letting me feel but not letting it show. NO WAY

if love was like crying and suffering in pain every day, NO WAY
If love was like a bird who only has one wing, NO WAY

if love can destroy my six sense and that make me nonsense, NO WAY
if love was like messy hair braid,
NO WAY
if love was saying to give up everything including my God,
NO WAY.

When I’m alone in a room that is empty
I kneel down and pray
asking God to forgive me
asking God to accept me

In 1, 2, 3 minutes of praying, crying, and repenting all my sin
I feel God is hugging me
He eased the pain and wiped my tears away.
He reminded me that except Him no one can love me unconditionally

God showed me,

love is not about changing who you are
its accepting what you are
Love accepts all my flaws
like when He died on the cross
Love is not about hiding my secrets
it’s about trusting someone to keep it

Love is not unloving my enemy
but loving them anyway.
Love is not just about finding the best one
it’s about being the better one.

Love does not envyit’s about enjoying others company.Lastly love is patient and wait for it,

don’t easily grab the moment and make it perfect
but it’s better to wait for the moment and it will be perfect.​

Yes That’s Me.

#MyOwnPoem #Inspired

Yes that’s me
Who believed in destiny,
Yes that’s me
Who believed in you easily.

Yes that’s me
Who’s trying to be all fine,
From the pain you left inside,
Yes I smile with my friends,
Just to hide the pain and tears.

Yes that’s me
Who can’t distinguish between
Being loved and loving between
Being in love and falling inlove.

Yes that’s me
Who’s still hold you even if you dont,
Who’s still wait you even if you wont.
Yes that’s me
Who love you completely
Who can’t move on easily
Because you’re the one for me.

Yes that’s me
Who want a ordinary days with you,
Because I LOVE YOU.
Yes that’s me
Who want you and me watching movie at night,
While your hugging me so tight.

Yes that’s me
Who want to see the first snow with you

Who want to learn how to skate

Teach by you.

Yes that’s me
Who still hoping you’ll come back
Because you promised me that.

One week

One week full of regrets and mistake,
Thats what I always tell to myself,
When that week make me think that i’m complete,
Because of the man I meet.

I remember when they comes in,
The door open slowly,
I saw man who’s taller than me,
And very serious when he looked at me.

I started to stared at him,
And asked whats his name,
My heart beat goes faster,
When he tell his name while smilling.

That One week was crazy for me,
Cause i fell inlove to a man whom I don’t know personally,
I totally loved him completely,
Like how he came to my life unexpectedly.

I thought our feelings will last forever,
when he said “we can’t be together”,
Happiness become tears,
Love and hope become fears.

That week is worst but still has lesson,
I remember that last night I saw him,
The sweetness of his voice,
The warm of his hugs,
The warm of his hands,
I still remember the kissed on my cheeks.

The last photo we take,
The last jokes we said,
And the last promised we made.
Maybe its true that love takes time,
Not love makes time.

Wrong Love.

Boy my life belongs to the dark But then you came and gave me spark
The flowers are singing when you hold me
But the clouds will cry when you leave me.

You’re my big star in the night
That always gives me a light
A star that shine so bright
like you’re hugging me so tight

You love me and it makes me happy
I told you , you’re my one and only
To be with you made me happiest ever
That i hoped it will last forever

But all the love i felt was a lie
i’m so down and i want to die
You never loved me, thats true
and now i dont want to see you.

one thing i assure you my dear.
happiness is nothing when you have her near.